and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
