There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
