do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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