Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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