my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
