Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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