Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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