all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
