dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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