Your tits are I can't wait for
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
