I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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