I'm eating all of the evidence.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
