She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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