Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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