I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
