Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
