dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
