I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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