i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
