You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
