btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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