There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
