She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
