he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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