He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
