On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
