i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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