ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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