Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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