hotel room ftw
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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