Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
