How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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