I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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