Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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