You're completely useless in the revolution.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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