she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
