i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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