clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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