I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I didn't notice because vodka
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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