we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
