Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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