True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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