Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
