since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
