so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
