Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
