the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
