That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
