So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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