these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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