u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize