My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
tell me about the eggs
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