Don't you send me to vm
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
