Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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