cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
