My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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