My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
