i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize