I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
